It has been dressed quickly, but well. The wood is green, and has been kind to the adze. There is only a day’s work for it to do, scaffolding for an afternoon’s spectacle, and then sold to the wood-workers, who will let it dry. I’m to carry it to the site. One of the troops has lifted it. I wait for the weight on my shoulder. It’s a long climb through the streets to the gate, and then further, but in sight of the city still. My arm around it, I put my cheek to the beam. Smell the wood! Such memories. We start now.
I’ve started going to Mass again, although I am not in communion, and I don’t know that I will be able to take that step. I feel the pull of it again though, and I feel a great deal calmer than I have for some time. The pressure of existence, especially the pressure of time, is not now so unrelenting. The wreckage of the past is not now so intolerably present. These benefits are, for the moment, associated with being present at Mass. They are a mild form of the consolation of prayer. Continue reading “Tell me why”